Monday 9 May 2016

Life Blood (3½ Stars)


This is a sleek and sexy vampire film, but with a theological message that would make fundamentalist Bible bashers hit their heads on the wall.

Brooke and Rhea are lesbian lovers. At a New Year's Party in 1969 Brooke sees a woman being assaulted by a famous film star who thinks he can do whatever he wants. She kills him by stabbing him in the neck. Brooke and Rhea leave in their car before the actor's body is found. They stop in the middle of the highway to argue about whether to report what happened to the police. God comes down from Heaven to speak to Rhea. I should say "Goddess", because she's a sexy woman in a see-through negligee, but she claims to be the God of the Bible. She says that she is recruiting women to become angels to fight evil on Earth, and she's chosen Rhea because she has a pure heart. Rhea feeds on God's blood, which gives her eternal life. Rhea begs God to let Brooke live eternally as well. At first God refuses because she considers Brooke unworthy, but she finally gives in, warning Rhea that Brooke will be a thorn in her side. The two girls are left to sleep.

It's quite a sleep. Protective cocoons form around the girls, and they don't awake until 2009. Brooke is overcome by thirst and kills two motorists by drinking their blood. Rhea says that they should be doing God's work and only killing evil-doers, but Brooke doesn't care and goes on a rampage. Rhea has to pursue her to bring her back onto the path of righteousness.


Charles Napier appears as a local sheriff. This was his last film before his death in 2011. He was the most underrated actor I've ever known. He had immense talent and deserved a big break, but he never got it. He spent most of his life playing small roles.


This is God? I should read the Bible more often.

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