Wednesday, 26 July 2017

Coco Austin Lingerie Promotion Day 26

In any other fashion collection this would be a sensational bra and panty set, but in comparison with Coco Austin's other items it's timid.

Coco Austin in black bra and panty.

Coco Austin in black bra and panty.

Tuesday, 25 July 2017

Knock Knock (4½ Stars)

In the John Wick films Keanu Reeves wiped out the whole of the Russian Mafia in New York single-handedly. In "Knock Knock" he has to tackle two pretty girls who arrive at his door on a rainy night, soaking wet. He doesn't stand a chance.

Keanu Reeves plays Evan Webber, a good husband and loving father of two children. The marriage still has its spark, but there are practical problems which unmarried people can never understand. You go to work during the day, then you want to spend a romantic evening together, but the children demand your attention. By the time they go to bed you're exhausted, so all you can do is sleep. If by any chance you both have any energy left to have sex, there's a noise from the children's bedroom, so you have to go see what's the matter. Or worse still, the children walk into your bedroom when you're just getting started.

This is the premise for the film. Evan complains that he hasn't had any sex for three weeks. This leaves him feeling on edge. He's vulnerable to temptation.

The family wants to go to the beach for the weekend, but Evan has a deadline to meet. He's an architect, so he can work at home while his family is away. Then the two wet girls arrive, Belle and Genesis. They're supposed to be going to a party, but the taxi driver has dropped them off in the wrong part of town. Evan offers to let them dry off while they're waiting for another taxi. He gives them bath robes while their clothes are in the clothes dryer, but as he finds out, they don't want to leave. They tell him outright that they want to have a threesome with him. As I already said, he's a faithful husband, but what man can resist two naked girls? It's every man's fantasy.

The day after. Evan wakes up satisfied. He's had what he's wanted for the last three weeks. Now it's time for the girls to go. But they still don't want to leave. Worse still, they're wrecking his home, in a literal way. They are painting penises on the walls and smashing sculptures. Evan threatens to call the police, but changes his mind when the girls tell him they're only 15.

Eventually the girls catch Evan off guard and knock him unconscious. He wakes up tied to the bed. Belle -- that's the blonde girl -- dresses up in his daughter's school uniform and rapes him. Speaking from experience I can verify that guilty sex is the best sex. Torture follows, but the physical pain isn't the worst part of it. The real terror is that the girls are wrecking his home and posting videos of their antics to Facebook. There's no way he can hide what's happened. His marriage is over.

"Knock Knock" is directed by Eli Roth, known for his horror films. This is a horror film as well, but it's more subtle than his other films. The glamour and sexuality is what we see first, so the full depth of the horror isn't apparent until we sit and think about the film. It's a film which deserves repeated viewing.

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Flag of the Week: Albania

I recently saw a strange red and black flag hanging on a house opposite where I live. It took me a few days of asking around, but I eventually found out that it's the national flag of Albania. It was hanging on the house because an Albanian building company, SGN Bucolli, has been renovating the house.

All I can say about the flag is Wow! It's the most artistic flag I've ever seen. Just compare it with the other European flags, which are mostly just three stripes on a piece of cloth. Boring.

Over the next few weeks I'll present a few other world flags and give my opinion on them. I doubt any of them will be as good as Albania's.

Coco Austin Lingerie Promotion Day 25

This is too daring for public display, but it's too good to be confined to the bedroom. I'm sure that if you're half as naughty as Coco you can find an excuse to show it off. Answer the doorbell in this outfit, and you'll give the Jehovah's Witnesses a shock they'll never forget. After half an hour sitting with you you'll be able to convert them to any religion of your choice.
Coco Austin in red fishnet bra and panty.

Monday, 24 July 2017

Olympus has fallen (5 Stars)

Sometimes I don't understand film critics. Why does this film have such a low rating? Judging by the box office figures the public loved it. So do I. It's heart pumping action from beginning to end, with hardly a pause for breath.

The White House comes under attack from North Korean terrorists. The first step is a low flying plane with automated machine guns that kill hundreds of innocent bystanders in the streets of Washington. That's the way terrorists work; they deliberately target civilians in order to provoke chaos. Then a concentrated attack on the White House itself is carried out. Within minutes most of the security and administrative personnel are dead, and the president and vice president are taken hostage.

The only person able to fight back is Secret Service agent Mike Banning, one man fighting against dozens of trained Korean commandos. Is it realistic? All I can say is that if Sylvester Stallone can do it, so can Gerard Butler.

The most gripping scenes are at the beginning. Gripping and disheartening. It's terrible to see how quickly the White House is taken and how many people die in the assault. It's so realistic that I have to ask myself whether Kim Jong-un has watched the film to find inspiration for his own attack.

Morgan Freeman stars as the Speaker of the House, who becomes the acting President of the USA when both the president and the vice president are captured. Recently I've become aware what a magnificent actor he is. Whatever role he plays he has a regal bearing that puts everyone else in the shadows.

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Coco Austin Lingerie Promotion Day 24

As I've pointed out before, this is a thong, not a g-string, but Coco Austin can get away with the mistake. If I tried to explain it to her in person I'd just be a red-faced, stuttering fool.

Coco Austin in fishnet thong.

Coco Austin in fishnet thong.

Sunday, 23 July 2017

500 Days of Summer (3 Stars)

At the beginning of the film the narrator tells us "This is not a love story". That prepared us for what was to come. He should have added "This is not a romantic comedy". After watching the film I read a few reviews, and most of them called it a romantic comedy. They don't get it. If anything, "500 Days of Summer" is a romantic tragedy.

The two main characters, Tom and Summer, are a mismatched pair. Tom believes in Love. He believes that for every person there is one person he's destined to be with, a soulmate. Summer doesn't believe in Love, she doesn't even know what it is. She only believes in the three F's: Friendship, Fun and Sex. (I changed the last word). On that basis Tom and Summer can have a good time together, it might even last for 500 days, but it's inevitable that Summer will end the relationship when she doesn't get all three of her F's.

The film was a big box office hit, and I can objectively appreciate its quality. The non-linear narrative makes it one of the most original films in recent years, The alternation between the happy days at the beginning of the relationship and the sad days as it breaks down make the tragedy even more tangible, as if it's an eventuality that's destined by fate. Joseph Gordon-Levitt's acting is breathtaking, and Zooey Deschanel is also impressive.

Subjectively, I can't enjoy the film. It hits too close to home. I see too much of myself in Tom. I don't believe that there's only one person for me, but I strongly believe in Love. It's natural for me to want the three F's, but that's not enough. Without the Big L everything else is hollow. A girl like Summer would destroy me, just as she wrecked Tom's life. If he'd been smart he would have known better. The narrator's wise words at the beginning of the film are a warning that the relationship can't last, and the non-linear order of the scenes shows us within the first 10 minutes that the narrator was right.

I have loved. I have given all of myself. My only fault was that I loved too much. I gave all I had without expecting anything in return, and it took me far too long to realise that I was receiving nothing in return. After lying broken on the ground I picked myself up, dusted myself off and tried again. Had I learnt from my mistakes? Not at all. Once more I gave all the love in my heart. Once more I was treated like dirt. Now I've sworn that I will never love again. I have too much love to give. It overwhelms most women. Maybe there's a woman somewhere who needs a man like me, but it's too late. I've closed my heart to new possibilities. I don't believe that the three F's are enough, but it's all I'll allow myself.

It's not a film that I can watch again. The first viewing fulfilled my curiosity. A second viewing would be torture.

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Off-Topic: Three bottles of wine

Sometimes the pettiness of the people in my friends and family is amazing. Here's a little story that might amuse you.

My parents-in-law are Kurt and Elisabeth Hengel, farmers in southern Germany. I got on very well with Kurt. He immediately accepted me into the family, and we often sat together drinking and chatting. I didn't get on well with Elisabeth. She had problems with me because I was a foreigner. She thought her daughter should have married a farmer's son.

On April 16th 1989 my father-in-law, Kurt Hengel, celebrated his 60th birthday. He had an empty apartment in the house where I lived, one floor below me, so the living room was used for the party. He set up a few folding tables. It was a small affair, about 15 family members. We enjoyed coffee and cake, as the Germans like to do on a Sunday afternoon, and afterwards we drank wine. It was a very good wine, Ochsenbacher Riesling, which my brother-in-law Wolfgang Hengel received as a free gift from a vineyard he visited on business. After a few hours we all went home, leaving Elisabeth to clear the table.

Later in the evening Elisabeth came up to my apartment and shouted "Mike has stolen three bottles of wine".

I was quite amazed, so I said I would take a look. My mother-in-law escorted me into the downstairs apartment. As soon as I walked into the living room I saw three bottles of wine under a chair by the window.

"There they are!" I exclaimed.

I thought that would be the end of the story, but Elisabeth answered, "You put them there to hide them from me".

That was ridiculous. The chair wasn't even by the window when I'd left the party. It was obvious what had happened. She'd put the wine on the floor when she had removed the tablecloth, then forgotten about it. She didn't accept my explanation and continued to rant about it.

A few days later I visited my parents-in-law at their farm. The wine theft was still a hot topic. Kurt was evidently amused. He asked me if I wanted the wine. I said Yes, and he gave me two bottles. He'd already drunk the third.

Why am I writing about this silly little story 30 years after it happened? My father-in-law died three years ago, but my mother-in-law hasn't forgotten the wine. A few days ago she told her daughter, now my ex-wife, that I couldn't be trusted because I'm a thief. The proof was the three bottles of wine that I had stolen and hidden under a chair.

P. S. The photo is of a different wine, because I can't find any photos of Ochsenbacher Riesling.

Coco Austin Lingerie Promotion Day 23

This is a perfect bikini for getting a sun tan in your garden. Your neighbours will be staring out of the windows.

Coco Austin in neon yellow bra.

Saturday, 22 July 2017

Stripperland (3 Stars)

"Officials are encouraging men to stay indoors and avoid all women in a state of undress. It may seem that they have desire for sex, but really they just want to eat you".

A virus has swept across America. Men are unaffected, but women are turned into undead zombie strippers. After being affected a woman puts on high heels and her sluttiest clothes. If she doesn't have her own slutty clothes she breaks into the nearest mall to steal whatever inappropriate clothing is hanging on the racks. Then she walks around the town eating male flesh.

A teenage boy called Idaho is excited by the developments. He sits at home watching the news reports of strippers walking the streets, and he finds it very arousing. He's less pleased when his mother turns into a zombie stripper and tries to eat him. That's disgusting. Idaho hitches a ride with a zombie killer who is travelling to Portland, Oregon, the strip club capital of the world. That's the only place an answer can be found to the virus.

Luckily, the zombies have weaknesses. Most of them have never worn high heels, so they walk slowly or even trip. They're addicted to rap music, so when rap songs are played loud they stop killing and start dancing. The most effective weapon against the zombies is dollar bills. If you throw money they pick it up and spare you for a few seconds, waiting for more money. As long as you keep paying you're safe; when the money runs out you're dead.

I'll let my readers decide what this film is. Cast your vote in the comments box.

(a) It's a teenage boy's fantasy.
(b) It's a feminist epic.
(c) It's a perversion of a perversion.
(d) It's sensationalist trash.

George Romero
February 4, 1940 – July 16, 2017
The literary history of zombies is very short, compared to vampires. The word "zombie" exists in the English language since the early 19th Century, but it referred to something different. A zombie was a corpse that had been re-animated, whether by magic or science. By this definition the monster in Mary Shelley's novel "Frankenstein" could be called a zombie. Modern zombies that can infect other humans by biting or scratching them were invented by George Romero in his 1968 film "Night of the Living Dead". The word "zombie" wasn't used in the film itself, but film fans applied the word to Romero's walking dead monsters, and it soon became their accepted name.

Since 1968 there have been many zombie films, so many that it can be considered a subgenre of horror films. Notable examples are "Evil Dead" (1981), "Braindead" (1992) and "Shaun of the Dead" (2005). It's common for film fans to interpret zombie films as social commentaries, i.e. the zombies represent the unthinking majority who accept everything that their government tells them via the mass media. This might be the case in politically motivated films, including the six zombie films that George Romero made, but I can't accept it as a generalisation.

"Stripperland" is a variation on the zombie mythology. The infection can't be transmitted. If a man is bitten he's dead. End of story. If there's any social commentary at all in the film it's about the stupidity of men. When they see a sexy stripper on the street they unzip their jeans for a blow job, but they receive a bite job. The strippers have ugly, disfigured faces, but men don't look at strippers' faces anyway.

Off-Topic: English spelling

My readers know that I take the English language very seriously. I make an effort to use correct English spelling and grammar in all my articles. When there are differences between British English and American English spellings I pick the British English version, because I consider the changes made in American spelling to be corruptions of the language. I always write "colour" instead of "color", "learnt" instead of "learned" and "travelling" instead of "traveling". When a film's title uses an American variant spelling, for instance "Labor Day", I use the American spelling, but I feel awkward about it.

There are a few other cases where I use an American spelling, not out of ignorance but as a deliberate choice.

I write "meter", "centimeter" and "kilometer" instead of the accepted English spellings "metre", "centimetre" and "kilometre". This isn't because the spellings are used in America. It's because I consider "meter" and its derivatives to be foreign words used in English, so I prefer their original spellings.

For the same reason I write "liter" instead of "litre".

There are many words that are written with hyphens in British English, but without a hyphen in American English. An example of a word I commonly use in this blog is "re-watch" (British English), "rewatch" (American English). In most cases I prefer not to use a hyphen. To my shame I have to admit that I'm not consistent in my spelling.

I would greatly appreciate comments on this post. Even more, I would love my readers to comment if they ever find a spelling mistake in my blog. Sometimes I make mistakes which I don't notice until years later when I refer to an old post that I want to quote. It's so embarrassing.

Coco Austin Lingerie Promotion Day 22

Perfect for the bedroom or the beach. When you're sunning yourself on the beach the men around you will be lying on their tummies to hide their embarrassment.

Coco Austin in black slingshot teddy.

Friday, 21 July 2017

Café (4 Stars)

"What can I do to make you believe in me?"

It's a small café on the street corner of a sleepy suburb in West Philadelphia. It's run by Todd and Claire, who happily serve their customers coffee and muffins. They're not the owners. They were hired on the phone by a mysterious Mr. Green who they've never met in person. Todd has a crush on Claire, which is hardly surprising, because she's played by Jennifer Love Hewitt. I'd have a crush on her as well, she's gorgeous! Claire is in a relationship with Dave, an abusive boyfriend who hits her.

There are regular customers who spend hours in the café every day.

A community worker uses the café as a meeting place to interview job applicants.

A drug dealer sits in a corner of the café making deals.

A young couple who met by chance in a cinema sit together every day for a coffee. He's married, but they're only talking, so they're doing nothing wrong. The love in their eyes is obvious to everyone who sees them.

Tommy is a drug addict begging the dealer for drugs even though he has difficulty paying.

There's a man with a notebook sitting by the window writing stories about the people he sees. He doesn't speak to them. By looking at their faces he knows and records their life stories.

Every film needs a hero, and "Café" is no exception. Glenn considers himself to be nothing special. He sits in the café every day with his laptop, taking advantage of the free wifi. Nobody even notices him. He's chatting online with Elly, a 13-year-old girl. Embarrassed, he turns his laptop away from the other customers so that they can't see who he's talking to. They wouldn't have noticed anyway.

But Elly has a revelation for him. She's not as young as she looks. She's God, the creator of all things, and she's been alive forever. She's using Glenn's laptop as a window to look into the world she's made. She tells Glenn that he's her greatest creation, and she has a special purpose for him. Obviously he doubts her, but she visits the café in person with one of her angels and works miracles. But why Glenn? He's 30, overweight and shy. How can he save the world when he can't save himself? Can he even save the café?

The film is full of subtle religious symbolism. I noticed the most obvious, but I wish there were a director's commentary to tell me what else I might be missing. The café represents the Garden of Eden. The only food available is fruit muffins. Elly's name is a female form of El, the Hebrew word for God. In the café there's an endless supply of coffee refills, but it can't last forever. Eventually everyone is cast out.

However much I've stared at my computer screen I've never found God. Maybe God has been looking for me, but I never recognised Her when She spoke. I'm not special enough for God to look for me. On the other hand, that's exactly what Glenn says. He considers himself unworthy of a divine revelation and hesitates in doing Elly's will. Anyone who considers himself worthy of God is unworthy. That's a fact.

Despite considering myself unworthy of seeing the face of God, I'm proud in many ways. Pride is probably my biggest sin, even though it's not apparent to those around me. Only those who read my blog know my innermost thoughts. And Elly, of course, because She sees into the hearts of men. I'm a morally complex person. I have difficulty describing myself. All I can say is that I consider myself to be the measure of all things. I judge the world and the people in it by their relationships to me. Is that justified? In my eyes it is, because I'm a better person than the people around me. But what does Elly say?

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Coco Austin Lingerie Promotion Day 21

The mesh is thicker than Coco's other fishnet bodysuit, which only means that your lover will have to crawl closer to enjoy the view.

The bodysuit is available in black, red and pink.

Coco Austin in black fishnet bodysuit.

Coco Austin in pink fishnet bodysuit.

Coco Austin in red fishnet bodysuit.

Thursday, 20 July 2017

The Aviator (4 Stars)

I vaguely remember watching "The Aviator" when it was first shown on television more than ten years ago. All that stuck in my mind was the aerial scenes and the plane crash. Today I finally returned to it, determined to remember more this time. The chances are better. I write a blog now, so if I'm still alive in 2027 I can read this post to remind myself about the film.

The film is famous for several near misses at the Academy Awards. It's the film for which Leonardo DiCaprio should have won the Best Actor award. (He had to wait another 11 years until "The Revenant", which wasn't in the same class as "The Aviator"). It's the film for which Martin Scorsese should have won the Best Director award. (He had to wait another two years until "The Departed", which was definitely inferior to "The Aviator"). It should also have won the Best Film award. The top awards in 2005 went to "Miilion Dollar Baby", which is quite remarkable, because it really wasn't such a good film, as most critics agree today. Jamie Foxx was awarded the Best Actor award for his performance in "Ray", which is so ridiculous that I doubt even Jamie expected it. "The Aviator" was nominated for 11 Oscars in 2005, of which it won five, one for Cate Blanchette as Best Supporting Actress -- wasn't she the Lead Actress? -- and the other four in technical categories. It should have won twice as many.

"The Aviator" tells the story of Howard Hughes from 1926 to 1947.  He was a tortured soul who was unlucky enough to become America's richest man. He was born in 1905. His father made millions from the invention of a drilling bit that was used in drilling for oil. His mother died in 1922 and his father in 1924, making him one of the richest men in America at a precariously young age.

Howard Hughes had a passion for two things: films and flying. He was a multi-millionaire at 20, but his passion for films, or rather his obsession with films, put him in danger of being bankrupt by 25. At 21 he began to make a film called "Hell's Angels" about the fighter pilots of World War One. Over a period of two years he invested two million dollars of his personal wealth in the film (the equivalent of $30 million today). When the film was complete he was unhappy with it, because sound movies had just been invented, so he spent another two years and another two million dollars on refilming it. The gamble paid off. The film earned eight million dollars at the box office, enough of a profit for him to continue with his passions.

Howard made more films, but he gained notoriety for his flying exploits. He set several speed records for planes, including a round the world flight in 101 hours, less than four days. Howard designed planes himself, he let his engineers build them, he fine-tuned them himself, and then he flew them himself, much to the horror of his business associates who thought he was putting his life at risk. Flying was too much fun to leave it to others.

He also bought Trans World Airlines (TWA), which he intended to become America's largest airline company. He spent $18 million of his own money on 40 new planes, because the company itself didn't have enough money. This failed to make him a profit because the boss of Pan Am, Juan Trippe, bribed a Senator to write a bill not allowing companies other than Pan Am to provide flights to Europe.

With Howard's business sense and his knack for making money came a curse. He was obsessive and paranoid. He was constantly afraid of uncleanliness and being infected. He couldn't touch things that other people had already touched, things like door handles. Eventually it got to the state that he couldn't endure personal contact with other people. This became the most extreme in his later years, not shown in the film, but even in the 1940's he spent days alone in a hotel room. He was afraid to visit the toilet -- a place with a high risk of infection -- so he urinated into empty milk bottles in his room.

During his early years, as shown in the film, Howard had many girlfriends who were film stars. The most famous were Katharine Hepburn and Ava Gardner. He also had a relationship with Faith Domergue, who was only 15 when they met. He sent her to school every day in a chauffeur-driven car, because he insisted that education was essential.

Even within the 20-year time-frame the film omits many details of Howard's life. He was a complex man. He might not have been a likeable man, but the film concentrates on the details that make him sympathetic to the viewer. As viewers we rejoice in his strengths and pity his weaknesses. Leonardo DiCaprio excels in portraying him. He really should have won the Oscar for Best Actor.

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Coco Austin Lingerie Promotion Day 20

This teddy is too good to be confined to the bedroom. It can double as beachwear. You don't have to do a thing. Just slap on some sun tan and lie on a beach towel, and within minutes you'll be surrounded by admirers.

Coco Austin in black teddy.

Coco Austin in black teddy.

Coco Austin in black teddy.

Coco Austin in black teddy.

Wednesday, 19 July 2017

Josie and the Pussycats (3 Stars)

This film is based on the comic book series with the same name published by Archie Comics. I have to praise the film for one outstanding success. It's the first time that I've ever seen a film about a comic book team in which the hair and skin colour of the team members perfectly match the comic.

Just look at the comic book cover for comparison. Perfect! Well, almost perfect. The outfits worn in the film aren't as sexy as they are in the comics.

Josie McCoy, Melody Valentine and Valerie Brown are the members of a struggling rock band called the Pussycats. I use the word "rock" cautiously, because that's not how I would describe their music. A music producer gives them a recording contract on the basis of their looks alone, without having heard them. He has no interest in their music. All he wants to do is sell CD's that contain subliminal messages to persuade American teenagers to buy certain products. He changes the group's name to Josie and the Pussycats in order to drive a rift between the band members, pushing Melody and Valentine into the background.

The girls discover the plot to commercialise their music and fight back.

Don't expect a masterpiece. All the film offers is pretty girls and poor quality music. The girls manage to look pretty without being sexy, in line with the traditional clean family image of Archie Comics. That's a shame. The girls have so much more to offer.

Female bass guitar players are so hot. Or is it just Rosario Dawson?

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