Wednesday 18 March 2015

X-Men XXX (3 Stars)


This was the last film that Axel Braun made for Vivid Entertainment. When he left Vivid to make films for Wicked Pictures it meant he was turning his back on superhero films. At Wicked he has been concentrating his efforts on making pornographic versions of fairy tales. I read recently that he has been persuaded to make a superhero film series for Wicked. Good luck to him, but I intend to boycott his films made at Wicked, due to their policy of requiring condoms for all penetrative sex acts. Let's hope he leaves them soon.

The film copies the story of the official X-Men film made in 2000. It deals with Wolverine trying to free Rogue from the clutches of Magneto and his Brotherhood of Evil Mutants. All the Wolverine-centric films of the recent years are getting on my nerves. There are other X-Men apart from him. "Days of Future Past" is a good example of over-emphasis on Wolverine. It's not a bad film, but in the original story from the comics it was Kitty Pryde who travelled into the past to change the future. Why was it necessary for the film to send Wolverine instead? Nevertheless, Tommy Gunn adequately portrays Wolverine. At least he wears yellow spandex in Axel Braun's films.

This is also the last film featuring Billy Glide before his death from a rattlesnake bite in May 2014. In this film he plays Colossus, putting on a convincing Russian accent. He enjoyed a certain notoriety due to having the largest penis in the porn industry. In this film the actress playing Kitty Pryde can't even get her hand around his penis. It must be as thick as my wrist. If you don't believe me, watch the film for yourself. Or watch "This ain't Dirty Jobs", in which he has a bigger part. No pun intended.

Billy Glide
July 25, 1970 – May 25, 2014

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